Rachel's Story

Rachel and Caleb

As a young teenager, Rachel witnessed a bride and groom exchange vows, and when the pastor declared, “NOW, you may kiss the bride,” something stirred deep in her spirit. In that tender moment, the Lord gently placed a conviction on her heart to wait until her own wedding day for her first kiss.  She wasn’t excited about it at first but knew she was supposed to do it.  It wasn’t about rules or pressure but a quiet, personal decision rooted in love, trust, and the desire to honor God with her story.

It was instilled in her at a young age that dating was for the purpose of marriage.  Rachel wasn’t particularly interested in boys anyway.  She remembers one from kindergarten who was not nice to her at all.  There is even a yearbook photo where she’s in tears while he laughs behind her.  After that, her confidence was wounded, and she avoided boys for a long time. 

When Rachel was in junior high school, some of her friends started dating.  Watching from the sidelines, she saw kids her age getting dropped off by their parents at places like the donut shop and thought how silly that was—13-year-olds “going out” with big romantic dreams?  Nothing says true love like your mom dropping you off at McDonald’s and reminding you to use napkins!

During her senior year of high school, when boys showed interest in her, she drew back from them and stayed true to her decision not to date.  In doing so, she avoided many of the emotional pitfalls and regrets that often accompany adolescent relationships.

The following year, during an annual ministry conference in Texas that her family was deeply involved in, she felt spiritually grounded and secure in God’s timing, trusting that He was preparing both her and the one who would one day be her husband.  She was eager to meet him and found herself constantly on the lookout.  So, when a singles event was held during the week-long conference, Rachel and her friends decided to attend and connect with others their age.

Chelsey and her twin brother, Caleb, had traveled from Vermont to attend the conference and were also at the singles event.  During one of the games, Rachel was paired with Chelsey, and the two quickly became friends.  Rachel barely noticed Caleb.  He was a buzz-cut football player, not at all her type.  As someone more artsy and creative, she always imagined she’d attract someone more like herself. 

After Chelsey and Caleb returned home to Vermont, the two girls kept in touch through email.  Chelsey visited Rachel at college, and Rachel even went with Chelsey’s family to a ministry event in Missouri.  Over time, Rachel also began connecting with Caleb and found herself starting to become attracted to him.  But she didn’t enjoy the emotional ups and downs that came with liking someone, so when this happened, she would squash the feelings.  Committed to waiting for her future husband, she would rather not invest emotionally in someone unless she was sure he was the one.

One year, Caleb took a trip on his own to attend the annual conference, which was held in California that time.  He stayed with family friends since his own family couldn’t make it that year.  He had grown out his hair and lost the bulky football player build.  When Rachel saw him at one of the conference meetings, she didn’t recognize him at first.  But once she realized who he was, something shifted – she felt herself drawn to him.

During the trip to Missouri, Rachel shared a room with Chelsey. One night, after Chelsey had already fallen asleep, Rachel was in the bathroom getting ready for bed and quietly praying. “What is this?” she asked God. “If these feelings for Caleb aren’t from You, please take them away.” In that moment, a deep sense of peace settled over her.  She didn’t hear clear words from the Lord, just a quiet assurance that this was right. It felt like God was giving her the green light. The realization startled her—this was what she had been waiting and praying for, and now it was here. Overwhelmed, she walked into the other room, woke Chelsey, and told her that she believed Caleb to be ‘the one.’  “I knew it! I knew it!” Chelsey squealed with excitement.

No one told Caleb how Rachel felt.  She was waiting for the Lord to speak directly to him about it.  They were just friends at this point.  They texted regularly and started talking on the phone more.  He had dated a few girls before, including one serious relationship.  If it hadn’t been for his parents’ influence, he likely would have crossed physical boundaries that he didn’t want to. Like Rachel, he had made a personal decision to wait until marriage, but his journey looked different. While Rachel had strong role models—like someone who had committed not to kiss until she met the one God had for her—and a supportive community that helped guide her, Caleb had to navigate a much more secular environment.  In the locker room, he often heard crude talk and felt pressured to go along. One guy even told him, “You’ve got to see what’s under the hood,” to which Caleb replied, “Not when you’re buying new.”  Over time, he decided to stop dating altogether and had stayed committed to that decision for several years before he and Rachel began their relationship.

Caleb went down to Texas on a hunting trip, and that’s when God brought real clarity about Rachel.  Up to that point, Caleb still thought, "She’s not what I imagined." He had always pictured himself marrying a blonde, and definitely not someone artistic. In fact, he used to joke about people in the arts. He wasn’t initially physically attracted to Rachel; they had simply been friends. But part of the reason he went on that trip was to spend time with her. While there, he began praying, asking, "God, what is this?" Then the thought came: "I’ll just see where this relationship goes." God arrested him in that moment and told him, "You already know where this goes. You know what you're doing. Choose." Right then, Caleb said out loud, "I choose to love Rachel." And from that point on, something shifted—when he saw her again, the physical attraction was there. They had the benefit of having a long-distance relationship, which gave them the opportunity to get to know each other deeply, without the distraction of physical temptation.

Rachel began to recognize the divine order described in the Bible: spirit, soul, and body.  She said, “I believe that’s the progression God intended for relationships.” She and Caleb first connected spiritually, then emotionally—spending hours talking on the phone and truly getting to know each other. The physical attraction came later. And honestly, Rachel believes it’s much easier that way when the physical connection comes last.

As the relationship deepened, Rachel and Caleb talked on the phone about everything, even personal things that she would never have thought about discussing if they were face-to-face.  They spoke about having children.  She shared with him that she planned to save her first kiss for her wedding day.  The friendship gradually blossomed into a courtship. 

A few months after they started dating, Rachel flew to New York to attend one of Caleb’s football games. He picked her up at the airport, and they visited Niagara Falls. There, he rented a horse-drawn carriage, got down on one knee, and proposed. Afterward, they went to the game—where Caleb scored a touchdown in more ways than one!

From the time they started dating to the day they got married, about a year had passed—but Rachel and Caleb had been friends for several years before that. Now, Rachel encourages other women, especially those in their late thirties who are still waiting. The wait can feel long, but when the right person comes along, everything can change in an instant. And when you know he’s the one, there’s no need for a long engagement.

Rachel admits there was a season of personal growth before she was ready for a committed relationship. As a child, in high school, and throughout college, she struggled with low self-esteem. Yet she always believed that God had a plan for her life. To overcome the emotional battles she faced, she knew she needed a deeper revelation of God’s love. She began confessing His love over her life and reminded herself of it daily.  One day, while reading her Bible, she was reflecting on the phrase “the two shall become one.” She told God that didn’t make sense to her. In that moment, she felt Him respond back: “I don’t deal in addition—I deal in multiplication.”  Then she thought, 1 x 1 = 1.  If you have half a person and half a person, you’re going to get a quarter of a person in a relationship.  Rachel explains, “When you're not two whole people in Him, your weaknesses make you exponentially worse. There was a certain place I had to come to within myself—and a certain place Caleb had to reach in himself—before we were ready to come together. I’m so grateful for that process.”

Rachel sees faith as a vital factor in the strength and success of a relationship. She often reminds others, “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God” (Romans 10:17). She says, “If you go to God first for that word, you’ll have faith for the entire relationship—and whatever comes your way, you’ll be ready to handle it.”  Rachel and Caleb have walked through deep trials. Their toddler tragically drowned several years ago. Later, Rachel became pregnant with twins, but due to a genetic issue, one of the babies passed away just three weeks after birth.  “The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy,” Rachel says, “but because of the faith we have in our marriage—and because we know that God designed us to be together—He will carry us through anything.” She adds, “Faith changes everything. And when you have faith for your marriage, no one can take that away from you.”

And what about that long-awaited first kiss? On their wedding day, when the time finally came, Caleb asked God how he should lovingly minister that moment to his new bride.  He gently kissed Rachel on both cheeks, then on her forehead, and finally on her lips. To Rachel, it was breathtaking, tender, and deeply meaningful—just as she had always imagined it would be, because they kept God at the center of their relationship.

Rachel and Caleb's wedding day