Cynthia's Story

Cynthia and Gilbert

The love that Cynthia’s grandparents had for each other was something holy.  It wasn’t perfect, but it was patient and forgiving.  Over the years their love became quiet – not because it had faded, but because it no longer needed to be loud.  Sure, they had storms in their lives and sometimes said words a little too sharply; they had long silences and some difficult years, but they weathered them side by side, not always holding hands, but never letting go.  It was 74 years of choosing each other every day, even when it wasn’t easy.  Cynthia adored her grandfather.  She wanted nothing more than to grow old together with a husband by her side, just like her grandmother had done. 

It's no wonder she wanted the exact opposite of her own home life.  Divorced when Cynthia was 13, her parents were very abusive.  In the church she attended at the time, she couldn’t understand how men would beat women and then go in on Sunday to confess what they’d done, only to repeat the behavior again Monday through Saturday.  When Cynthia was 17, she was drugged and raped by her father.  Looking for solace from her mother, Cynthia was instead accused of lying in order to get attention.  She remembers constantly being in fear as a child.  All of this has since changed though.

As a teenager, she started attending a Bible-based church, and she gave her life to the Lord.  One of the smartest decisions she made at the time was to go to counseling for several years for battered and raped women.  The scars ran deep.  They did eventually heal – but not overnight.

Cynthia met her first husband in high school.  He took advantage of her, she got pregnant, and they ended up getting married.  For five years, he physically abused her and was unfaithful with other women.  When she turned to her mother for help again, she was told that if she were a better wife, her husband wouldn’t treat her that way. 

She went through several bad marriages, each time hoping to find someone to love her instead of hurt her.  Cynthia became a workaholic to try to escape the heartache.  She worked 17-hour days, 7 days a week, until she literally collapsed.  She longed to find someone she could trust to confide in about the abuse, but fear kept her from doing so for many years.  Cynthia felt hopeless.  Each time she left a relationship, she felt like she was on her own.  She even sometimes slept in her car or in her office.  She was never truly alone, though.  Someone was watching over her.

“Where am I missing it?” Cynthia would ask God.  She knew God doesn’t mess up, so it must be her.  After many years of trying to get well on her own, she immersed herself in the Word of God and went to Bible college.  She learned how to draw near to the Holy Spirit.  She gained an understanding of self-worth, as well as the true meaning of love and respect, from God’s perspective.

Cynthia was just finishing up Bible college and one day told God that she was ready to date again but wanted Him to pick the man.  He was going to be a man who loves God.

It had been 14 years between her last relationship and meeting Gilbert, and during that period, Cythina had time to grow and heal.  She wanted to be well.  She didn’t want to marry someone to fix her.  She knew now that she needed to be a whole person in order to marry a whole person.

Gilbert’s father was a preacher.  At 12 years old, Gilbert memorized the Bible.   As a young man, he married his first wife, but they divorced after 19 years due to her infidelity.  He was married to his second wife for 25 years until she suddenly passed away.  He was a widower for ten months when he and Cynthia met.  He was retired and drove for Lyft part-time.

Cynthia had been going every year to a weekly faith convention, the Southwest Believer’s Convention, in Ft. Worth.  In 2022, rather than staying in a hotel near the Convention Center, she decided to drive back and forth from home each day.  She sensed the Lord telling her she would meet her future husband at the SWBC.  She went to every session each day from Sunday through Friday.  A husband didn’t materialize, so she must have missed it.  Maybe it’s not time yet.  “Maybe I’ll meet him at next year’s convention,” she thought.  She didn’t lose her joy.  Her focus was entirely on the Lord.  She was living for Him and doing things His way.  He had brought her through so much.  Some women live with the torment of their past, but others, like Cynthia, have moved on and don’t dwell on the past any longer. 

Cynthia normally did not attend the last day of the convention, which was always on a Saturday, but she awoke early that morning and decided to go.  She scheduled her ride, and shortly afterwards her Lyft driver, Gilbert, showed up at her house to drive her into the city.  She noticed he was attractive.  He was listening to Christian music on the radio.  They made small talk during the short ride. She honestly didn’t think anything of it.  He was just a nice man to talk to.

Gilbert’s version of that first meeting: He couldn’t stop looking at her eyes in his rearview mirror.

They made arrangements for him to drive her back home that afternoon after the convention was over.  Cynthia sat in the front seat on the drive home.  There was more small talk.  She learned that he played the drums and volunteered at the homeless shelter in downtown Ft. Worth.  He learned that it was her birthday the following week.  He asked if he could take her out on her birthday, and although she had plans, they scheduled a date after that.

When he came over for that first date, he opened the car door for her; he opened the restaurant door for her; he pulled out her chair at the restaurant.  She wanted a gentleman like her grandfather.  It was becoming a reality for her. 

Cynthia and Gilbert started dating each other more often.   One of her dear friends told her that a good way to judge a man’s character was to see how he is when he's really mad.  Before one of their dates, Gilbert called her to say he would be late because he had been in an accident and his car had been totaled.  He had been calm through the entire ordeal.  She had also been advised to date a man long enough to find out whether he was wearing a mask and hiding his true self.  Gilbert passed that test too.  He was genuine.   

It was August when they met.  He proposed to her the following February.  They agreed to remain pure physically until their wedding night because they wanted to honor the One who brought the two of them together.  Cynthia had met a man who loved the Lord as much as she did.

As Cynthia recalls her past and sees where she’s at now, it amazes her that she has a husband like Gilbert.  He is that man that she dreamed about all those years ago.  He was just like her grandfather.  God answered her prayer.  God restored all the time that was lost.