Maria's Story

Maria and Brad

Many little girls dream of a princess wedding.  They envision a flowing white gown with sequins and tulle and imagine their knight in shining armor eagerly waiting for them at the end of the aisle.  I was one of those little girls.   

 During our growing-up years, things happen that frame our future.  Some are positive.  Some are negative.  Our lives encounter many twists and turns along the way.  The positive events catapult us further along, while those negative ones may push us back a few steps.  But it’s in those pushbacks where we have the opportunity to get back up, grow, and get ourselves on the right path again.  

In my late twenties I was coming out of an unhealthy relationship.  While I may have looked all grown up with a yuppie business suit on, commuting to the big city, I still had quite a bit of maturing to do and some past pain to overcome.  Along the way, I participated in counseling sessions, read self-help books, attended support groups, and met new people who helped guide me in the right direction to recovery.  But what was paramount during that season of my life is that I became aware of faith for the first time.  My past was no longer what defined me, and I had a bright future full of possibilities.

It was during that time that I invited Jesus into my heart, and it was almost as if I heard the audible words, “Everything is going to be all right!”  No longer magnifying negative circumstances I had recently experienced in my life and the hurt feelings associated with them, I was recovering.  One day as I was driving in my car, I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw a silly grin staring back at me.  The look was that of pure peace, something I had never truly felt before that very moment.

With renewed confidence in who I was, I surrounded myself with others who did not fall victim to life’s past misfortunes.  We were all growing and moving forward together.  My main sphere of influence at that time included other single women and single men at the church I was attending.  I was not interested in starting another romantic relationship as I was reveling in learning all I could about the things of God.  I knew one day I would marry a man who loved the Lord, but that day was a long way off.  I was completely fulfilled. 

Several of us would go out for food and fellowship at one of the numerous local restaurants each Sunday after the evening church service.  This was turning into a habit, the group was getting larger, and I somehow became the go-to person in the church lobby each Sunday night, designating where we were meeting that night.  I was the unofficial planner, which turned into my official volunteer role as the Singles Ministry Event Coordinator.

On other days of the week, we started doing a variety of activities such as game nights, downtown excursions by train, jet skiing, one-day road trips, skydiving, concert events under the stars, roller-skating, amusement parks, air shows, fireworks, bike riding, scavenger hunts, and picnics.  We were a fun bunch!  Some of the game nights were at my house, where a group of us would gather.  With dozens in attendance for some of the other events, I was not able to get acquainted with everyone.  We were just a cohesive group of singles who loved the Lord and who had fun doing things together in a group setting.  To keep the atmosphere God-centered, a single man and single woman would not be at an event alone.

I was volunteering in other areas in the church as well as the Singles Ministry, and while I was certainly not looking for a significant other, the Lord seemed to be singling out someone for me in a significant way.  I distinctly remember the first time it happened.  Brad volunteered at church doing many administrative and facility tasks, and while I did not know his name, he walked briskly across the lobby in the direction of the church offices, and my attention was interrupted toward his direction in almost a supernatural way.  It was sudden, abrupt, and not of my choosing.  I passed it off as something strange, some sort of an inkling or knowing, and didn’t give it much thought after that.  Until it happened again.  More than once.

So that you understand where my faith was at that time, I knew that I would eventually have the princess wedding of my dreams, but I honestly was not looking for it to happen in the immediate future.  I was totally content with the way my life was.  I referred to that time as my “honeymoon with Jesus.”  Jesus was my everything, and my entire focus was directed toward Him. 

When Brad was pointed out to me again, I actually said inwardly, “No, Lord.  Not him.  I know you’re going to give me a Godly man, but he’s not my type!”  You see, I wanted someone with dark hair and features and someone who is talkative and gregarious.  Those are not Brad’s characteristics.  By that time I knew his name, and because he came to every singles’ event I organized, I saw the fruit in his life in his interactions with others and how he behaved in group settings.  Hmm, I thought.  Not bad after all.  Over a series of singles’ outings, I could sense that the Lord was knitting my heart to Brad’s.  I didn’t know much about Brad other than what I saw him project in public.  I didn’t know any details of his life except that he didn’t date. 

I wanted to approach my next serious relationship differently than I had in the past.  I did not want to be the one to make things happen.  It was the man’s role to initiate that.  I knew that I knew that I knew that God was putting Brad and me together.  If God was knitting my heart to Brad’s, I knew that He must also be knitting Brad’s heart to mine.  Except there were no outward signs that Brad was remotely interested in me.  Over a short amount of time, a love was growing in me for Brad.  I knew that he was to be my future husband.      

Things were getting frustrating for me because I had such a great fondness for Brad, yet there was no reciprocation from him.  My rationale was that I had faith it would happen; I just didn’t know when.  The timing part was up to God.  Being patient was my part.  Because I knew Brad didn’t date, I knew I had to wait for him to navigate through to make this happen.  I told the Lord, “Even if it doesn’t happen for 10 years, I know Brad is going to be my husband, and I am prepared to wait however long it takes!”

Brad’s point of view

Brad knew the Lord ever since he was eight years old and made a commitment at a young age that he was not going to date.  He saw dating as a training ground for divorce.  Growing up, Brad saw couples all around him in uncommitted dating relationships that would end whenever one person was no longer interested.  Because Brad vowed not to date, he knew that God would show him who the woman was that he was supposed to marry.

That first time the Lord pointed Brad out to me was also the first time the Lord pointed me out to Brad.  While volunteering, I was told to give something to Brad to take to the administrative office at church.  I walked up to him and gave him the envelope.  As I walked away, he thought to himself, “Hmmm.  She’s the perfect height.”  He had been believing God for a petite wife, and so I met that qualification for him.  That first encounter was also when Brad had a “knowing” that there was something different about me and that is when the seed of love was planted in his heart for me.  He knew me as little as I knew him.  But God was performing a miracle between us.

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A couple of months went by, and Brad was periodically meeting for lunch with Darrell, a pastor friend of his.  Brad knew that God was knitting his heart to mine but also saw no reciprocation from me.  When he shared this with Darrell, he was told that if the relationship was of God it would grow, but if it was of Brad it would fade.  Each time they’d meet for lunch every couple of weeks, Darrell would ask him, “How is that Maria thing going?”  Brad would respond that it’s still there.  Darrell would tell him to keep praying about it.  

Meanwhile, for the next couple of months, I was continuing to plan events for the singles in the church and attending them and observing Brad from a distance.  My affection for a man that I hardly knew was growing.  Darrell’s wife, Kathy, was also on the church staff, and I reported to her.  I would periodically meet with Kathy to review the Singles Ministry event schedule for her approval.  During one of those meetings, Kathy and I were having a casual conversation, and she happened to ask me if there was anyone in particular that I was interested in.  Without hesitation, I told her that I was going to marry Brad.  I surprised myself with the outburst.  That was my faith talking. 

It may be worth mentioning here that Kathy was unaware of Darrell’s periodic meetings with Brad, and Darrell was unaware of Kathy’s periodic meetings with me.  They were also unaware that Brad and I both felt that the Lord was bringing the two of us together.

After one of the lunches where Darrell asked Brad the familiar question about how the “Maria thing” was going, Brad told him that he was going to ask me to marry him.  This was on the very day that I told Kathy that I would marry Brad.  Brad thought it was his secret with Darrell, and I thought it was my secret with Kathy, but God knew all along, and His timing was perfect. 

As all this was going on behind the scenes, I didn’t understand how my attraction for Brad could be so strong while I saw no outward signs of him making any step toward making the relationship materialize.  One Sunday night in September, I chose the restaurant where the singles would meet after church, but I decided not to attend.  I went straight home after the church service.  My frustration that nothing was happening between us grew into impatience, and it was difficult for me to be in the same room with Brad, to see him from across the restaurant table among all the others, and not get to know him.  I began to think that maybe I missed it.  Maybe God wasn’t putting us together after all, and it was just my imagination.

It wasn’t long after I got home and was lamenting over my plight that the doorbell rang.  I looked through the blinds in the front window to see who it was.  It was Brad.  My initial thought was how inappropriate this was since he had never been at my house alone before.  He said it was unusual that the event coordinator wasn’t at an event and wanted to ensure there was nothing wrong.  I reluctantly let him in, and we briefly talked.  He shared how the Lord had placed me on his heart and asked if I was experiencing the same thing.  My response was a resounding Yes.  He said he’d like to see where this will lead and to be patient about it.  I agreed, and that was basically the extent of our conversation that night.  He left, and in my mind, we were now dating.  In Brad’s mind, however, we weren’t dating.  At that time I wasn’t aware that he had made a vow never to date.

The next day at work I remember beaming, thinking that my prayer has been answered: The Lord is giving me the Godly man I have been believing for, it came about by the man initiating the relationship, we’re now dating, and we can finally get to know each other as we build our relationship.  After work that night I was fully expecting a phone call from Brad because, after all, we were now dating.  That Monday came and went.  Nothing.  I thought, he did say to be patient.  He’s never dated so he needs to figure out how this works.  I can be patient.  Tuesday came and went.  Nothing.  During our mid-week church service Wednesday night, I thought maybe he’d seek me out and sit by me.  That didn’t happen.  Well, maybe he’ll escort me to my car and we’ll make plans to get together over the weekend.  Nothing.  Hmm.  Did I miss it?  He sure has a strange way of dating. 

Thursday came, and the discouragement set in.  Maybe he has cold feet about this whole dating thing.  I did promise to be patient, so that is what I’ll do, but this is a strange way for two people to get together. 

That Thursday after work I was at home balancing my checkbook and going over some paperwork into the evening.  It was after 9:00 p.m. when the doorbell rang.  It was Brad.  Why would he be coming to my house so late, especially since I hadn’t heard from him in four days?  I opened the door.  He had a forlorn look on his face.  I knew it.  I really did miss it.  This was all a big mistake. 

He said, “Maria, you probably are wondering why I haven’t asked you out on a date.” 

Oh, boy.  Now I know I missed it.  I acted cool while a lump formed in my throat: “No, not at all.  I know you said to be patient.”  He replied, “I never had any desire to date you……” 

Now I felt really awkward.  He’s basically admitting to me that he missed it too.  We didn’t really hear from God.  But I was clearly wrong because of the next thing that he said:

“I never had any desire to date you.  Maria, I love you.  Will you be my wife?”  

“What?  We don’t even know each other!  Yes!  Yes!  Yes!”  At this time I was jumping up and down, shouting. 

We both emphatically agreed how God had been orchestrating this over the last couple of months, and it was His perfect plan to join the two of us together.  So that night, September 17, Brad gave me a beautiful diamond ring, and we became engaged to be married.

Our first “date” was the following day.  We met for lunch.  We held hands for the first time.  We started to get to know one another on a more personal level.  Our wedding was planned for exactly 7 months later, on April 17.  Our first kiss was at the wedding altar.

When the Lord does a miraculous thing between two people, He grows them spirit first, then soul, then body.  The girl did get her princess wedding with her knight in shining armor.  And they lived happily ever after because God was in the center of their lives.