Cherie's Story

Cherie and Brian

It was a late Midwestern summer morning as Cherie was driving to the mall to drop off her boys at the arcade for a friend’s birthday party.  With the sun beating down on her dashboard and the boys conversing peacefully in the back seat, Cherie was thinking about the little note her husband, Brian, left her earlier that day.  It wasn’t overly gushy or sentimental but just a little reminder to her about how much she meant to him.  She recalled at that moment the first date they had several years earlier.  It was at an arcade in a mall.

Growing up, Cherie had a lot of crushes, but she did not date.  She was often teased by the boys in school, and so she became leery of boys and tended to remove herself from them.  There was one little boy who teased her, and she found out that he liked her.  But sometimes boys tease you because they like you.  None of that fazed Cherie at all, however.  She was content with hanging out with her older sister, who was her best friend.  As a family, they went to church ever since Cherie could remember, and prayer was a part of her life. She would lie in bed at night sometimes praying for her sister when she encountered any sort of difficulty.  They were brought up with Christian values from their parents and were never tempted to move away from those values.  Cherie had a typical family for the most part.

Cherie’s first memory of Brian was in the audio duplicating room at their church.  Brian was on the team that recorded all the church services and made them available on CD afterwards.  Cherie worked in the Product Fulfillment Department, and one of her duties was to give the service message to the audio duplicators during each service so that they could title each CD.  One time, as she was outside of the duplicating room, for no apparent reason, a thought came to her.  “I wonder if I’d marry him.”   

Brian’s first memory of Cherie was during a church singles event when they were playing a fun and fast-paced group game with several other singles.  Soon after that Brian started serving in the Product Fulfillment Department, shipping out audio messages, and so there was occasion for Brian and Cherie to be around each other more often.  They served on that ministry team together for quite a while and got to know each other a little better.    

Brian’s family background was quite similar to Cherie’s.  He was brought up in a Christian home where church attendance was a normal part of the weekly routine.  When he felt his interest for Cherie was turning into more than just a casual acquaintance, he approached one of the church pastors for counsel.  He encouraged Brian to talk to Cherie about his interest in her, but that took some time because during that same month of July he was in the process of helping his parents move to another state and started a new job with working hours that coincided with serving in the Product Fulfillment Department, so he and Cherie were not seeing each other as often.

Brian asked Cherie out on their first date to go to the arcade with another couple.  Not long after that, they were invited together for dinner with some mutual church friends, and that became their second date.  During this time they discussed where the relationship was going, and both felt that it could potentially lead to something long-term and permanent.  Things were progressing slowly.  Brian didn’t know fully how to proceed with advancing the relationship.  Having not dated before, he didn’t know what was too much when it came to the frequency of asking a woman out on a date.   Their third date was a Chicago Cubs baseball game with Cherie’s sister and brother-in-law. 

More get-togethers followed, and by then they were having regular conversations about their intentions to marry.  Brian laid down the ground rules about no kissing or a physical relationship before marriage.  Cherie said he was extreme about it, but she liked the fact that he was taking the lead in these types of conversations, as they were a bit awkward to have when you’re just getting to know the other person who you will eventually be marrying. 

Brian proposed to Cherie in November of that year.  Because they were so open in their communication, she wasn’t surprised by the proposal.  She had a feeling he would.  They were at a restaurant, and because Cherie is not one to want to bring attention to herself, when Brian asked if she wanted him to get down on one knee, she answered with a resounding “No!”  But she did answer “Yes” to the proposal.  They were married the following July. 

Cherie said it was just understood that she and Brian would wait to be physical in their relationship until they were married because they had the same upbringing, and that is how they were raised.  Their church also took the same stance about dating and marriage.  She learned from church that waiting builds your levels of trust because if you know you can wait now, then you can resist that temptation later with other things.  If your soon-to-be husband can’t resist the temptation before marriage, it would be easier to not resist the temptation with somebody later that is not his spouse.

Remembering back at that moment outside the duplicating room, Cherie knew that God was showing her more of what she needed in a husband.  She thinks she’s a difficult person to be married to, but Brian deals with her perfectly.  She remembers knowing that she loved him during those early times, and she had a peace about it. 

In their open communication before marriage, they discussed having children and agreed that Cherie would be a stay-at-home mom because she would not want anyone else raising her children.  If she and Brian weren’t pure before marriage, they’d have lots of regrets.  She likes the idea of having the heritage passed down to her two sons.  Her sons both know that it’s God’s plan for them to also wait until marriage. 

Looking in the back seat at her boys before dropping them off that day, Cherie recognized that her sons share the enjoyment of the arcade, just like the enjoyment she felt with Brian on that first date all those years before.  More importantly, her boys share the values that Brian and Cherie have instilled in their lives, and they will carry on the legacy of purity that has been passed down from their parents and grandparents.