Becky's Story

Becky and Ron

Becky was the only one in her family of six children who went to college.  It’s no wonder she studied speech therapy, behavioral science, and psychology, because all her life she wanted to be a teacher.  Becky wanted to be someone who could help children in situations like hers growing up, children in homes where there was no happiness.   

Her parents had deep roots in Mexico, but as a teenager, Becky’s father traveled north with his family because his father’s dream was to start missions in the Houston area.  He ended up pastoring the church that his father founded.  Becky’s parents met when they were in college.   Her mother was the first generation from her family to come to America.  They experienced challenges because of language, cultural, and financial differences. 

Becky’s sister and four brothers were all born and raised in America with American friends and culture, and they recognized at a young age that their family’s Hispanic heritage was different from that of their friends.  Becky’s parents were strict with their children and were very focused on their Hispanic missions and church.  Her father preached only in Spanish but didn’t teach his children the language, so while her parents attended their Spanish church, Becky and her siblings went alone to an English-speaking one just a few blocks from their house and participated in the children’s ministry at that church.

She had always gotten along with her brothers, especially her younger brother, but invariably there had been strife between her and her older sister that started when Becky was born.  Because of some medical problems Becky had, attention had been shifted towards her, and so her sister became jealous.  The little bit of love and affection that her sister received and longed for from her parents was now being shared with someone else. 

One Sunday morning, as a very little girl, Becky and her sister snuck into the adult service and sat in the balcony at the church they went to and listened to the pastor preach.  Becky’s life turned around that day.  She heard things she had never heard before.  It was that day when she heard how much God loves her and learned the beauty of Heaven.  The pastor made it so real to Becky.  She remembers wanting to play in the river and wanting to eat fruit from the trees.  He talked about how Jesus left the beautiful place for us.  Becky was in awe and wondered, “Why would Jesus do such a thing?  Why would He leave such beauty for us?”

The pastor made the cross that Jesus died on seem so real.  As much as he made that real, he added, “And Jesus did that for you so you wouldn’t have to go to Hell.”  He was so descriptive when he talked about that place called Hell.  Because Becky had so much unhappiness in her young life up to that point, she couldn’t believe that someone like that loved her so much. 

The pastor had a heart for children, and Becky noticed that he was constantly hugging them and they were constantly hugging him, especially at the end of the service when he asked people to come up to the front for salvation.  That night she went back to the evening service and sat in the 3rd row at the edge of the pew.  She was antsy.  She was so eager for the end of the service because she wanted a hug so badly from the pastor.  He was someone who emulated Jesus to her because of all that love he had for others.  She imagined it was really Jesus who would be hugging her, so she was giddy as she walked all the way down the center aisle to go to the front.  When it was her turn, she told the pastor that she wanted to ask Jesus into her heart.

She had a hunger for God ever since then because she was so amazed that someone loved her so much.  Becky became a happy child with a positive outlook.  It was perfect love she had received from God, and it cast away any unhappy memories she had as a child.  She knew anything she was lacking in her home life was now replaced with the love of God.  Today, she thanks God for a forgiving heart.  Regardless of how bad things or people are, Becky tries to seek out the good.

As she grew into her teen years and young adulthood, Becky dreamed of being married someday, and she even had a specific age chosen.  One time when praying, she told God, “If I’m not married by 25, then I know You don’t want me to be married.” 

Some years later, she was volunteering in the youth ministry on Wednesdays at her church.  Becky was very close with her youngest brother, Roger.  Some people at church who didn’t know they were related even thought they were dating because they spent so much time together and always seemed to have so much fun with each other.  A man named Ron was one of those people.  Ron’s brother was good friends with Becky’s brother.  One Wednesday evening in June after church, Ron’s brother said, “This is Becky, Roger’s sister.  We’re all going to Chili’s afterwards.  Do you want to come?”  Ron heard the word “sister” and thought, “Oh…. Yes, I’ll be there.  I’m coming.”

At that time, Becky had just graduated from college, and her next goal was to go to New Life Bible College in Tennessee.  It had a drama group that went to the four sections of the U.S. – North, South, East, and West.  She enjoyed drama and had a passion for evangelism and missions.  At Chili’s that night she shared this with Ron.  She enjoyed herself at the restaurant and was impressed with him and their conversation together, but she could not remember his name.  It turns out that he was also impressed with her.

When Ron left the Chili’s parking lot, God told him that Becky was the one.  He was reminded of a dream he had when he was 11.  He saw her in the dream.  He didn’t see her face, but he saw her hands and knew she was short in stature.  That’s all he knew. From the dream, he saw a lot of rings on her fingers.  At that time, Becky enjoyed wearing lots of rings.  It dawned on him right there in the parking lot that night that this is the woman he dreamed about 14 years earlier.  He said, “God, you’re going to have to work that out because she’s talking about going to Tennessee.” 

A couple of days later was Becky’s 25th birthday.  She closed herself up in her room and said, “God, all I want for my birthday is to hear from You.  I want to know that I’m hearing from You.” 

She heard, “Ron is the one.” 

She thought, “I don’t know anyone named Ron.”

The following Sunday at church, when she saw Ron’s brother, she asked what his brother’s name is.  He said, “Ron.  Why?”  She smiled.

While Becky kept sending applications to the Bible college, she never heard anything back.  She didn’t go to Tennessee.

Becky and Ron started dating and got engaged in August.  They were married in December.  They were both 25.

It was understood that the two of them would not cross the line with intimacy and being physical before marriage.  Ron was respectful and honorable.  Becky also respected herself and loved God too much to do something that she knew would not please Him.  She was treasured by God and did not want to let anyone open up that treasure until the wedding night.

Dyanna's Story

Dyanna and Mark

Inside the spacious room with its high ceilings and smooth, polished floor, Dyanna looked on as a group of dancers was gliding along, concentrating on their new fancy footwork.  She glanced at herself in the mirrors that lined one wall in the dance studio and tucked her hair behind her ears.  Waiting her turn to spin across the floor with her partner, Dyanna smiled from pure joy as someone who was free, confident, and fully alive.

Dyanna grew up in a Christian home.  Her parents raised her and her sisters to know the Lord.  In her late 20s, Dyanna enjoyed every aspect of her life – ballroom dancing, loyal friends, and a great job.  She was completely content with being single and was not at all interested in marriage.  She had seen a lot of failed marriages and even knew spouses who stayed together but who weren’t happy. 

When she was younger, her mother taught her about purity.  Dyanna read the book Kissed the Girls and Made them Cry and chose to abide by it.  Her older sister, on the other hand, did not, and Dyanna saw how that brought her many hardships and a failed marriage.  Dyanna didn’t date and regarded it as practicing for divorce because of the way you can just move on to the next person if one relationship doesn’t work out.

Dyanna is a part of the production department where she works, the same place that Mark works.  The two of them did not have a lot of interaction for the first nine years.  He had started working there long before she had and was a part of the small group that took Dyanna out to lunch on her first day.  They’d see each other at the water cooler or at the department events that they would attend, but that was it.  They didn’t work together; they just worked in the same building.

Then one week, one of the producers had to be gone and left Dyanna to finish his projects.  Mark was the editor for those projects, so they spent tireless hours together, from 9:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m., for the entire week.   That was the first time they had really talked and gotten to know each other.  Mark was comfortable to talk to.  Dyanna didn’t think a thing of it at the time.  Soon afterwards their interaction changed because she then became an associate producer and was forced to work with him.   They didn’t just have casual meetings at the water cooler any longer.  Occasionally they would have lunch together.  They had dinner together a couple of times.  They were becoming close friends. 

Mark was a very private person.  Dyanna didn’t know if he was married.  She didn’t know if he was divorced.  She didn’t know if he had any children.  She literally knew nothing about his personal life even though they talked and were friends.  That was just something they didn’t discuss.

It was a solid two years later when they officially started dating.  Mark started doing things for Dyanna, which fulfilled her love language of Acts of Service.  There was an unexpected snowstorm once, and he had texted her, “Let me know when you get home so I know you’re safe.”  That got her attention.  She did not see marriage as a necessity for her, but getting to know Mark, her heart started to soften to where she would think, “Well, if I were to get married, I would want to marry someone like him.” 

Dyanna eventually found out that Mark was divorced and had two children.  She went to one of his softball games and saw the interaction he had with a certain woman and discovered that he was also dating her.  Because Dyanna had been so cautious with her life and with her relationships, she told him through tears, “I’m not going to be part of this.  You know where to find me if something changes.” 

Eventually something did change.  During that 4-5 month waiting period, however, it was one of the most difficult times for Dyanna.  Her older sister had gotten married and divorced and was already in another relationship.  “God, this isn’t fair,” Dyanna pleaded.  “It’s not right for her to have been married, failed that marriage, and be getting married again, and I have nothing.”  There were a lot of tears.  There was a lot of closing her office door at work and sitting on the floor crying.  She even thought if it didn’t work out with Mark that one of them would have to quit because they couldn’t be working in the same building with this going on.  But despite the hurt feelings, she somehow knew she and Mark were supposed to be together. 

People told her that they had been praying that it would not work out between them.  She had kept herself pure, and he was someone who had been married, divorced, and dating again.  “Is that what you really want?” they’d ask her.  “Save yourself for someone who has also remained pure,” they would say.

Dyanna was open to hearing from people who loved her, and at that time she was considering all the options.  But once she heard from God, she wasn’t so much interested in the other options.  She knew what God was telling her in her heart to do.  She waited, and Mark ended the other relationship.  It was April when Dyanna and Mark became exclusive. He proposed the following March.  They were married in August of that same year.

Fully expecting that he was the one, she knew the time was getting close, especially when her father, during a ski trip the previous November, was already introducing Mark to everyone he met as his future son-in-law.  Mark had already talked to Dyanna’s parents about marrying their daughter.  He already knew the type of ring she wanted, so when he got down on one knee and proposed, Dyanna did not hesitate with her response.

They agreed to set physical boundaries in their relationship.  They were not going to have sex before marriage.  They were not even going to French kiss or be alone together in his apartment. 

Dyanna did not have to experience intimacy with any man before her husband because from a young age, she received all she needed from God.  He knows how to perfectly pair up husband and wife no matter what past they came from or how clumsy their dance steps may have been.  While Mark may be by her side as her dance partner from now on, God had been dancing with her in her heart all of her life. 

Maria's Story

Maria and Brad

Many little girls dream of a princess wedding.  They envision a flowing white gown with sequins and tulle and imagine their knight in shining armor eagerly waiting for them at the end of the aisle.  I was one of those little girls.   

 During our growing-up years, things happen that frame our future.  Some are positive.  Some are negative.  Our lives encounter many twists and turns along the way.  The positive events catapult us further along, while those negative ones may push us back a few steps.  But it’s in those pushbacks where we have the opportunity to get back up, grow, and get ourselves on the right path again.  

In my late twenties I was coming out of an unhealthy relationship.  While I may have looked all grown up with a yuppie business suit on, commuting to the big city, I still had quite a bit of maturing to do and some past pain to overcome.  Along the way, I participated in counseling sessions, read self-help books, attended support groups, and met new people who helped guide me in the right direction to recovery.  But what was paramount during that season of my life is that I became aware of faith for the first time.  My past was no longer what defined me, and I had a bright future full of possibilities.

It was during that time that I invited Jesus into my heart, and it was almost as if I heard the audible words, “Everything is going to be all right!”  No longer magnifying negative circumstances I had recently experienced in my life and the hurt feelings associated with them, I was recovering.  One day as I was driving in my car, I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw a silly grin staring back at me.  The look was that of pure peace, something I had never truly felt before that very moment.

With renewed confidence in who I was, I surrounded myself with others who did not fall victim to life’s past misfortunes.  We were all growing and moving forward together.  My main sphere of influence at that time included other single women and single men at the church I was attending.  I was not interested in starting another romantic relationship as I was reveling in learning all I could about the things of God.  I knew one day I would marry a man who loved the Lord, but that day was a long way off.  I was completely fulfilled. 

Several of us would go out for food and fellowship at one of the numerous local restaurants each Sunday after the evening church service.  This was turning into a habit, the group was getting larger, and I somehow became the go-to person in the church lobby each Sunday night, designating where we were meeting that night.  I was the unofficial planner, which turned into my official volunteer role as the Singles Ministry Event Coordinator.

On other days of the week, we started doing a variety of activities such as game nights, downtown excursions by train, jet skiing, one-day road trips, skydiving, concert events under the stars, roller-skating, amusement parks, air shows, fireworks, bike riding, scavenger hunts, and picnics.  We were a fun bunch!  Some of the game nights were at my house, where a group of us would gather.  With dozens in attendance for some of the other events, I was not able to get acquainted with everyone.  We were just a cohesive group of singles who loved the Lord and who had fun doing things together in a group setting.  To keep the atmosphere God-centered, a single man and single woman would not be at an event alone.

I was volunteering in other areas in the church as well as the Singles Ministry, and while I was certainly not looking for a significant other, the Lord seemed to be singling out someone for me in a significant way.  I distinctly remember the first time it happened.  Brad volunteered at church doing many administrative and facility tasks, and while I did not know his name, he walked briskly across the lobby in the direction of the church offices, and my attention was interrupted toward his direction in almost a supernatural way.  It was sudden, abrupt, and not of my choosing.  I passed it off as something strange, some sort of an inkling or knowing, and didn’t give it much thought after that.  Until it happened again.  More than once.

So that you understand where my faith was at that time, I knew that I would eventually have the princess wedding of my dreams, but I honestly was not looking for it to happen in the immediate future.  I was totally content with the way my life was.  I referred to that time as my “honeymoon with Jesus.”  Jesus was my everything, and my entire focus was directed toward Him. 

When Brad was pointed out to me again, I actually said inwardly, “No, Lord.  Not him.  I know you’re going to give me a Godly man, but he’s not my type!”  You see, I wanted someone with dark hair and features and someone who is talkative and gregarious.  Those are not Brad’s characteristics.  By that time I knew his name, and because he came to every singles’ event I organized, I saw the fruit in his life in his interactions with others and how he behaved in group settings.  Hmm, I thought.  Not bad after all.  Over a series of singles’ outings, I could sense that the Lord was knitting my heart to Brad’s.  I didn’t know much about Brad other than what I saw him project in public.  I didn’t know any details of his life except that he didn’t date. 

I wanted to approach my next serious relationship differently than I had in the past.  I did not want to be the one to make things happen.  It was the man’s role to initiate that.  I knew that I knew that I knew that God was putting Brad and me together.  If God was knitting my heart to Brad’s, I knew that He must also be knitting Brad’s heart to mine.  Except there were no outward signs that Brad was remotely interested in me.  Over a short amount of time, a love was growing in me for Brad.  I knew that he was to be my future husband.      

Things were getting frustrating for me because I had such a great fondness for Brad, yet there was no reciprocation from him.  My rationale was that I had faith it would happen; I just didn’t know when.  The timing part was up to God.  Being patient was my part.  Because I knew Brad didn’t date, I knew I had to wait for him to navigate through to make this happen.  I told the Lord, “Even if it doesn’t happen for 10 years, I know Brad is going to be my husband, and I am prepared to wait however long it takes!”

Brad’s point of view

Brad knew the Lord ever since he was eight years old and made a commitment at a young age that he was not going to date.  He saw dating as a training ground for divorce.  Growing up, Brad saw couples all around him in uncommitted dating relationships that would end whenever one person was no longer interested.  Because Brad vowed not to date, he knew that God would show him who the woman was that he was supposed to marry.

That first time the Lord pointed Brad out to me was also the first time the Lord pointed me out to Brad.  While volunteering, I was told to give something to Brad to take to the administrative office at church.  I walked up to him and gave him the envelope.  As I walked away, he thought to himself, “Hmmm.  She’s the perfect height.”  He had been believing God for a petite wife, and so I met that qualification for him.  That first encounter was also when Brad had a “knowing” that there was something different about me and that is when the seed of love was planted in his heart for me.  He knew me as little as I knew him.  But God was performing a miracle between us.

---

A couple of months went by, and Brad was periodically meeting for lunch with Darrell, a pastor friend of his.  Brad knew that God was knitting his heart to mine but also saw no reciprocation from me.  When he shared this with Darrell, he was told that if the relationship was of God it would grow, but if it was of Brad it would fade.  Each time they’d meet for lunch every couple of weeks, Darrell would ask him, “How is that Maria thing going?”  Brad would respond that it’s still there.  Darrell would tell him to keep praying about it.  

Meanwhile, for the next couple of months, I was continuing to plan events for the singles in the church and attending them and observing Brad from a distance.  My affection for a man that I hardly knew was growing.  Darrell’s wife, Kathy, was also on the church staff, and I reported to her.  I would periodically meet with Kathy to review the Singles Ministry event schedule for her approval.  During one of those meetings, Kathy and I were having a casual conversation, and she happened to ask me if there was anyone in particular that I was interested in.  Without hesitation, I told her that I was going to marry Brad.  I surprised myself with the outburst.  That was my faith talking. 

It may be worth mentioning here that Kathy was unaware of Darrell’s periodic meetings with Brad, and Darrell was unaware of Kathy’s periodic meetings with me.  They were also unaware that Brad and I both felt that the Lord was bringing the two of us together.

After one of the lunches where Darrell asked Brad the familiar question about how the “Maria thing” was going, Brad told him that he was going to ask me to marry him.  This was on the very day that I told Kathy that I would marry Brad.  Brad thought it was his secret with Darrell, and I thought it was my secret with Kathy, but God knew all along, and His timing was perfect. 

As all this was going on behind the scenes, I didn’t understand how my attraction for Brad could be so strong while I saw no outward signs of him making any step toward making the relationship materialize.  One Sunday night in September, I chose the restaurant where the singles would meet after church, but I decided not to attend.  I went straight home after the church service.  My frustration that nothing was happening between us grew into impatience, and it was difficult for me to be in the same room with Brad, to see him from across the restaurant table among all the others, and not get to know him.  I began to think that maybe I missed it.  Maybe God wasn’t putting us together after all, and it was just my imagination.

It wasn’t long after I got home and was lamenting over my plight that the doorbell rang.  I looked through the blinds in the front window to see who it was.  It was Brad.  My initial thought was how inappropriate this was since he had never been at my house alone before.  He said it was unusual that the event coordinator wasn’t at an event and wanted to ensure there was nothing wrong.  I reluctantly let him in, and we briefly talked.  He shared how the Lord had placed me on his heart and asked if I was experiencing the same thing.  My response was a resounding Yes.  He said he’d like to see where this will lead and to be patient about it.  I agreed, and that was basically the extent of our conversation that night.  He left, and in my mind, we were now dating.  In Brad’s mind, however, we weren’t dating.  At that time I wasn’t aware that he had made a vow never to date.

The next day at work I remember beaming, thinking that my prayer has been answered: The Lord is giving me the Godly man I have been believing for, it came about by the man initiating the relationship, we’re now dating, and we can finally get to know each other as we build our relationship.  After work that night I was fully expecting a phone call from Brad because, after all, we were now dating.  That Monday came and went.  Nothing.  I thought, he did say to be patient.  He’s never dated so he needs to figure out how this works.  I can be patient.  Tuesday came and went.  Nothing.  During our mid-week church service Wednesday night, I thought maybe he’d seek me out and sit by me.  That didn’t happen.  Well, maybe he’ll escort me to my car and we’ll make plans to get together over the weekend.  Nothing.  Hmm.  Did I miss it?  He sure has a strange way of dating. 

Thursday came, and the discouragement set in.  Maybe he has cold feet about this whole dating thing.  I did promise to be patient, so that is what I’ll do, but this is a strange way for two people to get together. 

That Thursday after work I was at home balancing my checkbook and going over some paperwork into the evening.  It was after 9:00 p.m. when the doorbell rang.  It was Brad.  Why would he be coming to my house so late, especially since I hadn’t heard from him in four days?  I opened the door.  He had a forlorn look on his face.  I knew it.  I really did miss it.  This was all a big mistake. 

He said, “Maria, you probably are wondering why I haven’t asked you out on a date.” 

Oh, boy.  Now I know I missed it.  I acted cool while a lump formed in my throat: “No, not at all.  I know you said to be patient.”  He replied, “I never had any desire to date you……” 

Now I felt really awkward.  He’s basically admitting to me that he missed it too.  We didn’t really hear from God.  But I was clearly wrong because of the next thing that he said:

“I never had any desire to date you.  Maria, I love you.  Will you be my wife?”  

“What?  We don’t even know each other!  Yes!  Yes!  Yes!”  At this time I was jumping up and down, shouting. 

We both emphatically agreed how God had been orchestrating this over the last couple of months, and it was His perfect plan to join the two of us together.  So that night, September 17, Brad gave me a beautiful diamond ring, and we became engaged to be married.

Our first “date” was the following day.  We met for lunch.  We held hands for the first time.  We started to get to know one another on a more personal level.  Our wedding was planned for exactly 7 months later, on April 17.  Our first kiss was at the wedding altar.

When the Lord does a miraculous thing between two people, He grows them spirit first, then soul, then body.  The girl did get her princess wedding with her knight in shining armor.  And they lived happily ever after because God was in the center of their lives.